So we have an artificial tree that is pre-lit. Cosmo has taken to sleeping under it since there are no gifts, which doesn’t bother me (except I will probably have to have my tree skirt drycleaned for all the hair *sigh* ).
The other day I saw him gnawing at something at the bottom of the tree. I thought he was just chewing on the branch part and I yelled at him and he ran away.
Well, yesterday I got down there to straighten the skirt and I found broken light bulb lying on the tree skirt. That colossal MORON is chewing on the Christmas lights!!!! WHILE THEY’RE PLUGGED IN, I might add!
I caught him at it again today and squirted the ever-loving crap out of him with a water bottle. I figure the dimwit is either going to electrocute himself, Christmas Vacation-style, or he will ingest glass and die of internal injuries.
Natural selection at work, folks.
(By the way, I understand that he is a CAT and has no grasp of the concept that electricity = not for eating. What I don’t get is, why the hell is he doing it in the first place? What on earth could be even remotely appealing about gnawing a glass lightbulb? Really, is he THAT bored? Because I could totally borrow the neighbors’ insane cocker spaniels and turn them loose in the house if he needs something to do. It’s no problem. Really.)
Posted by: msmaryb | December 16, 2005
My cat might, quite possibly, be too stupid to live
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Mary: just a suggestion…why not wait until the “C dude” (Cosmo) is chewing on a bulb and THEN squirt him? I’m certain he’d get quite a shock out of that.
By: Dave on December 16, 2005
at 6:39 pm
I believe that when humans do stuff like that, they hand out Darwin Awards. Everyone out of the gene pool!
By: Gretchen C. on December 16, 2005
at 11:52 pm
Another idea. If the new restaurant takes off and becomes a smashing success, we have the idea for a new, second restaurant staring us in the face:
Welcome to COSMO’S. Our specialty: Christmas light bulbs. A taste treat sensation to satisfy anyone’s picky pallet.
By: Dave on December 17, 2005
at 4:44 am
Zowie. That is the most brilliant restaurant idea since Milliway’s.
By: Gretchen C. on December 17, 2005
at 6:22 am
When my dog chewed on the christmas lights, it scared the shit out of him. Literally. Hope the same doesn’t happen to Cosmo before it’s all said and done. Not a pretty sight, I promise you.
By: Kristy Hansen on December 17, 2005
at 8:13 am
Ummm… and under the title: Too Stupid to Own a Cat – the first time I saw my cat’s penis, I freaked out, thinking that he had swallowed a bulb from the Christmas tree and that it was stuck half-way out his rear. Thankfully, my boyfriend took the tweezers away from me just in time.
By: Tenille on December 19, 2005
at 7:35 am
little late here. Is the cat still alive? LOL
By: Sabrina on December 20, 2005
at 11:04 am