7/26/09, 9:17 a.m. PST
(580): Haven’t heard from you in a while. We’re on the road with my parents to Southern Cal for a family bbq.
(414): Been kind of a busy week. Where in Southern part is the picnic? And how can it be the end of July already?
(580): In Moreno Valley – east of LA county. 5 hour drive from A-town. Don’t know where the summer has gone!
(414): Are you the ony Beatle B***** at the reunion or are there more of you?
(580): Dad & I are the only B*****s, period. These are all H*****s, Mom’s people. I’m the only Beatles nut. Oddball as always!
(414): Them H*****s are pretty oddball, from what I hear from the other hill folk. Goofy as all getout. Goofy as the day is long.
(580): The word’s out, huh? I should’ve known.
(414): Biggest ripoff/disappointment: Revolutions Bar @ the Mirage. $10 for a rum & Coke? Please. If there had been more time (AND more money), I’d have liked to hav
(580): Message cut off. You’d like to have done what? Something dirty? 
(414): …paid the cover charge and gone to the Revolutions nightclub next to the theater.
(580): Drat. Well, I guess that would’ve been okay too.
7/27/09, 10:48 a.m. PST
(414): I got my racing sausage bobblehead – but I still think all those H*****s are GOOFY.
(580): Says the man with the bobble-headed phallic symbol.
(414): At least they’re not giving out H***** family bobbleheads….that’d be too weird.
(580): Oh yeah? Well, you’re a poopyhead! So there! Ha!
(414): Actually I’m very fond of the H*****s. :p
(580): You should be. We’re AWESOME.
(414): At least we can agree that, with the exception of your children, ALL of the J*****s is GOOFY!
(580): Yeah, I’m totally on board with that.
8/15/09, 3:15 p.m. CST
(580): Tell Bobby Jack he’d better not be telling all our secrets. I vaguely remember how girls talk when they get together.
(918): He’s already passed out. That seriously happened on ur wedding night….
(580): I dunno….I was downstairs partying with two Elvis impersonators, a showgirl and a Bolivian midget.
5:05 p.m.
(580): WTF? Did you all leave him in a ditch somewhere? My children are asking where Daddy is. I don’t have the heart to tell them.
(918): LOL He is on his way home!
(580): Partially sober, I hope. And still wearing pants would be a huge bonus.
(918): Consider that our gift to you.
