I’m either a vampire or I’m mental. It’s 1 a.m. and I have no desire to go to bed. I’m a little tired but no more so than I would be during the late-afternoon slump that most people go through. Since I’m fairly certain I have a soul and my house is not littered with the carcasses of animals drained of their life blood, I’m leaning toward the mental thing. I’m almost sure I’d know if I was undead. Though I have to say I can’t remember the last time I looked at myself in a mirror. And garlic makes my IBS act up. Do vampires have spastic colons?