You and me both, kid


I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned before about Madalyn (who is not yet five-and-a-half) and the comments about John she makes occasionally.
A few weeks ago she and I were out to dinner and she was telling me about Abraham Lincoln, who she was learning about in school. She informed me that he’d been shot and died and I said, “Yes, just like John.” We were finished with our meal at that point and as we walked out of the restaurant we conversed a little more about Lincoln and why the man shot him.
When we got to the lobby of the restaurant she stopped walking. I thought she was looking at one of the machines and turned around to tell her to get going. She was just standing there with a look on her face as though she was about to cry. I was surprised and asked, “What’s wrong?” To which she replied: “I miss John.” I said, “I know. I do, too” and gave her a hug and we continued on our way.
This isn’t the first time she’s said that. Usually it comes up while we are watching a Beatles video. The sentiment is never initiated by me; she is not seeing me looking sad and copying me. She comes up with it completely out of the blue.
It makes me happy and sad and concerned all at the same time. Happy that she loves John and remembers him….sad that it has to be this way; that all we can do is miss him…..and concerned about her sensitivity. Missing someone who died 20 years before you were born is a pretty abstract concept for a five-year-old. I’m afraid she inherited the sensitivity from me. It’s a good trait to have, because it makes you empathetic and keeps you from being cruel, and yet it can cause a lot of problems and unnecessary angst. I worry that things will be tougher for her than most other people because she feels everything so much more. I’m proud of her, though.


About msmaryb

I'm a native Californian who lives in Oklahoma. I'm a full-time student, pursuing a Bachelors in Anthropology, following which I hope to attain a Masters in Archaeology. I have three kids, one husband, no pets, and a lot of friends - most of whom live inside my computer. I love to read, write, watch tv (shut up, we can't all be brain surgeons), shop, and travel. I'm trying to set foot in all 50 states before I die. I have 38, so far. I love the Beatles and Maroon 5, and if you think those two things are incongruous, well, they are. But that's me. When I love something, I love it 100%. I don't do anything halfway. I want to know everything there is to know, so I'm trying to cram as much into my brain as I can in the short amount of time I'm allotted in this dimension.

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