Stick a fork in me!

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It’s times like this I”m glad I have a blog.
I do censor myself somewhat on here. Some of it is organic — there’s stuff I just don’t feel like writing about, or I realize I’m overreacting to something and that I will look like an ass later if I publish what I’m thinking just then. Some of it is in recognition of the many different types of people who read this blog. While I don’t live my life based on what other people think about me that doesn’t mean I care to grievously offend people, either.
Anyway, what all this boils down to is that sometimes there are things I want to whine about. A lot of times these things can be handled by my venting to my friends on the message boards I frequent. But there comes a certain point where either, a) I feel I’ve beaten a subject to death and no one wants to hear about it any more or, b) the subject matter is such that people might not be sympathetic or understanding (rightly or wrongly so).
For example, today’s subject: I am so fricking-fracking sick of being pregnant. I am SO sick of it. And I feel badly about it, because I know a number of people online who would love, LOVE to be pregnant right now but can’t — either because it’s not the right time or because it’s downright impossible. So I do try to keep that in mind and not innundate my hangouts with constant complaints. That’s when this blog comes in handy. Because, y’all —
I HAVE HAD IT!!!!
I have been sick now basically for the past six months. I have 11 weeks left to go and have no reason to think it’s suddenly going to improve in that time. It’s just demoralizing. Six months — it’s hard for me to even recall feeling normal, at this point. A good day for me now is only a mild flash of nausea here and there. Then we have days like today, with stomach pains and a generally unsettled feeling. I don’t want to eat anything. Nothing sounds good. When I did eat yesterday I had half a chicken sandwich and half an order of fries and when I got home I felt like my stomach was going to explode. It was lovely. I was having shortness of breath and could not get comfortable to save my life. I’m just tired of it. If this is the cosmic universe’s way of guaranteeing that I never want to have another baby, I get it! It worked! I am done! Giving me a break for the last 11 weeks really really will not make me change my mind, I swear. 11 weeks of normalcy would not be enough to negate 29 weeks of bummerosity in my mind. So whomever is in charge of this stuff, please get on this as soon as possible. I just want a little break — because this flat-out sucks.

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About msmaryb

I'm a native Californian who lives in Oklahoma. I'm a full-time student, pursuing a Bachelors in Anthropology, following which I hope to attain a Masters in Archaeology. I have three kids, one husband, no pets, and a lot of friends - most of whom live inside my computer. I love to read, write, watch tv (shut up, we can't all be brain surgeons), shop, and travel. I'm trying to set foot in all 50 states before I die. I have 38, so far. I love the Beatles and Maroon 5, and if you think those two things are incongruous, well, they are. But that's me. When I love something, I love it 100%. I don't do anything halfway. I want to know everything there is to know, so I'm trying to cram as much into my brain as I can in the short amount of time I'm allotted in this dimension.

2 responses »

  1. Well first of all I am a major terrible friend and for some reason I just got your Christmas letter! I found it in Sadie’s room. So somehow she read it and kept it to herself. So let me be the LAST to say Congratulations!!!! I know it stinks right now but I am so super happy for you!! You make beautiful babies girl. I really hope that these last weeks fly by for you so that you can enjoy your new little one. I hated pregnancy as well and you are very much entitled to your own feelings on the subject. It does not mean you do not want your baby or anything. You just need some time to whine. Do it all you want girl! *big hugs* I am sorry I haven’t been around. I got a part time job at Justin’s office and it’s been kicking my rear end! I don’t know how to do it all yet. Do we have names picked out? SO happy for you!!!! You must come up with the kids if the ice ever goes away! Love ya! Shala

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