Oh dear lord.


The day I had yesterday, people. Holy crap.
About 1 a.m. yesterday Eliza woke up after having gone to bed normally and sleeping about 3 hours (also normal range). Usually I nurse her back to sleep and pop her in bed and that’s the last I hear of her for a couple more hours. Well, this time she started crying right away, so we were on to round two of nursing to sleep and putting back to bed. Didn’t work. It continued to not work allllllll night long. And then continued allllll day long. She was one unhappy camper. She did take a couple short-ish naps earlier in the day but mostly it was cry, cry, cry, fall asleep at the breast and begin rooting frantically when she lost it (normally she might do this once or twice but then stays asleep after a while). Finally she even quit being soothed by nursing and was crying no matter what I did. It would range anywhere from a low-level whine to an all-out scream. She was not running a fever, from what I could tell, but I thought there had to be some explanation for all of this as it most definitely was not normal. Finally, in desperation, I called the pediatrician….at 4:00….on a Friday. I was told to take her to Quick Care at the ER so off we went.
“Fast” forward (ha.) to FOUR HOURS LATER. Robert had gotten home from work and came to the hospital to pick up the older two kids so it was just me and Eliza there. She had calmed down some once we got there and had actually dozed off on my lap a few times and now I was feeling pretty silly. She did kick up again once the doctor came around so he got to hear her, at least. After speaking (brusquely) with me he slapped a diagnosis of colic on her, “colic” being code for “I have no idea why this baby is crying but I will gladly charge you $300 for your visit.” We were given a prescription for an anti-spasmodic and sent merrily on our way.
E. was actually good for the half hour it took till we got home; quiet as a mouse. I got her to sleep with no problems at 9:00…..but then she awoke at 9:30 and all hell broke loose again. On an average night she can be counted on 90% of the time not to wake up again (for several hours, I mean) once I get her to sleep for the night. The rare times she does wake up all I do is go nurse her down again and that’s the end of it. Well, last night she refused. Every time she turned loose she’d immediately rouse and start rooting. Eventually we devolved into crying and not wanting to nurse at all. This is when I handed her to Robert and said, quote, “I have HAD IT!” He hustled her off to the sun room and I folded some (massive amounts of) laundry. By the time I was done he had her quiet, rocking her in her car seat. I went to lie down on the bed, meaning only to rest a minute until she started crying again and then take her. Two hours later I opened my eyes and Robert was bringing her to me.
Unfortunately we had the same results with my trying to get her back to sleep in her bed this time. After lots of crying Robert took her again around 1 a.m. and told me to go back to sleep, which I did. I knew nothing more until he brought her to me at 5 a.m. (5 a.m., folks! Now THAT is a great husband for you!) I am not sure what all she did in the four hours he had her. I think she may have slept some in her bouncy chair because I found it turned on with a blanket sitting on it. My poor, dear husband is still asleep, however, so I haven’t been able to ask.
Anyway, Eliza was finally so tired that I nursed her down, popped her in her bed (with great trepidation, I might add) and she stayed asleep for a little over two hours. When she woke up I got her back to sleep and back to bed for another two hours. At 9:30 I got her back to sleep yet again, this time leaving her in our bed and stealing away.
Y’all, I do NOT know what to make of this. Yes, she has been a little stuffy-nosed since last weekend but it’s never bothered her to where she didn’t/couldn’t sleep before. When she woke at 7:30 I could tell she was REALLY congested so I did the saline-and-suction thing (which she was thrilled to bits about) and then was able to get her to sleep after that. But she was not congested like that yesterday so that isn’t the explanation for the craziness. I really don’t believe the colic diagnosis; at least not in the sense that it’s colic related to intestinal issues. I have never heard of a 9-week-old baby developing colic when she hadn’t had it before. Her digestive system is supposed to be getting more mature, not more sensitive. But, you know, they see a baby with no fever who’s crying and who isn’t injured and they don’t have any incentive to look any further into it. Oh, by the way, I gave her some of the medication as soon as we got home and, as you can see, it didn’t do a thing for her.
Of course, I’m freaking out about the whole thing. As is my wont when one of the kids has a bad day I walk around thinking, “Oh my God, what if they are like this FOREVER??” as though alien body snatchers might come in the night and take over. But that won’t happen, right? I mean, a baby wouldn’t just change, literally overnight this much, permanently, right? It has to be just a temporary discomfort and she’ll go back to normal when it’s gone. So then the paranoia sets in: “What if it’s a serious medical condition and it takes us a long time to sort it out?” I am dreading the thought of her waking up again right now because I don’t know who I’m going to get. Will it be Normal Baby, who, in retrospect, I now realize isn’t that difficult to deal with, or will it be I-Hate-the-World Baby? I don’t know if I can take another day like yesterday. I am trying to be optimistic and look to the fact that she has been sleeping well since about 5 a.m. but that could just be because she finally reached the point of exhaustion where she couldn’t keep it up any longer. In other words, perhaps she is only recharging for the day ahead. *gulp*
At any rate, I went through a very long period of feeling very sorry for myself last night. I’m feeling a bit better this morning; sleep does wonders for one’s attitude. It’s hard not to be pessimistic when you’re running on a ninety minutes’ sleep. Still, though, sometimes it seems like the cosmic universe is out to smack me down. I have told people numerous times that whenever I mention to any of my friends that Eliza is behaving a specific way (usually when I’m reporting an improvement) she immediately does a complete 180 and regresses to doing worse again. I am sure people think I’m exaggerating but I’m not. The night before this happened? I had posted a long update about E. on the forums I visit, telling about how much better she was doing and how I expected she’d keep improving, and how the Amby bed seemed to be helping some. I had refrained from saying anything about how she was doing for TWO WEEKS prior to this, for fear of “jinxing”. When I finally do say something, it all falls apart. As usual.
Well, I’m being paged from the bedroom, so off I go to get her. I wonder who she’ll be today. Send positive thoughts my way!


About msmaryb

I'm a native Californian who lives in Oklahoma. I'm a full-time student, pursuing a Bachelors in Anthropology, following which I hope to attain a Masters in Archaeology. I have three kids, one husband, no pets, and a lot of friends - most of whom live inside my computer. I love to read, write, watch tv (shut up, we can't all be brain surgeons), shop, and travel. I'm trying to set foot in all 50 states before I die. I have 38, so far. I love the Beatles and Maroon 5, and if you think those two things are incongruous, well, they are. But that's me. When I love something, I love it 100%. I don't do anything halfway. I want to know everything there is to know, so I'm trying to cram as much into my brain as I can in the short amount of time I'm allotted in this dimension.

3 responses »

  1. Oh, I remember those days so well — Sam was an incredibly fussy baby and I remember wailing “He HATES me!” to Ben — after the first night in the hospital, when he stayed up all night screaming and I was exhausted from labor! (Plus he wouldn’t latch on properly and was VERY cross about that.) Hang in there — she will come back around! Play some McCartney for her.

  2. This is abnormally normal. Bre used to cry for an hour-and-a-half straight and it had me mentally screaming for the hills. Unfortunately, I was MUCH younger, less experienced and easily messed up than I am today — thank goodness. Just wanted you to know that eventually it will go away; apparently, colic is indeed a real thing (however, I’ve yet to discover exactly WHAT), and what worked for me is this: I would lay Bre on her back and “exercise” her by flexing her legs toward her belly (think of it as using her thighs-almost to knead her belly –) Good luck and I’ll say a prayer for you!

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