The time has come again


Here I am, once again, on the eve of the end of a California trip which has gone by too fast. This has been just the kind of trip I hate. That’s not to say I’m sorry we came or I didn’t have fun, you understand. It’s just that there are trips that seem “long enough” and are pretty relaxing and then there are hectic, rushed-feeling trips that are over in the blink of an eye, and this was one of those. Two weeks (a day shy of two, actually) is just not enough time to do everything, see everyone and also spend time relaxing. I looked at my mom tonight and said, “I feel like I’ve hardly been here” (‘here’ being sitting in the living room with her and my dad). It seems as though all we’ve done is run, run, run since we’ve been here, and yet I didn’t get to see any of my friends even half as much as I’d like to have. So what on earth were we doing all this time? I sure wish I knew. And I wish I had another ten days here. I need at least three weeks in order to have time to spend with friends AND do activities AND still spend evenings hanging out with my parents and being mellow.
So, yeah, I’m taking it pretty hard, as I always do when I feel like the time has evaporated into thin air. By the last few days of my longer trips I am usually not anxious to get home but resigned to it, and wishing that, if I have to go, I can just get it over with. Not so for trips such as this one. The past few days I have been in a funk, digging in my heels and refusing to acknowledge that I have to go at all. I feel guilty, too, for not spending as much time with my parents. One of the main things I look forward to on my visits is sitting around, watching t.v. with them and I did almost none of that this time.
I think there’s a good possibility I wouldn’t be quite so crushed over leaving if I was going home to some sort of normalcy. But, no, I’m going back to no vehicle and no answers about said vehicle; to more wondering and worrying about whether it will ever be fixed, to Robert being gone most of the week again instead of being with us, to boredom and friendlessness and routine — and not even a pleasant routine. Just dropping off and picking up and making meals and doing baths and laundry and overeating. Not looking forward to it, people; not looking forward to it at all.
If there’s anything good to report it’s that it won’t be long before I see my folks again. I hope to get them out to our house for Spring Break in March, but if that doesn’t happen I am going to try to get us out here again. At the very least I think they will visit sometime in the spring, even if it’s not in March. And, of course, there will be a much longer trip in the summer. Surely I can get along until then.
I hate to have my first update in a while be such a downer but those are the breaks. It’s what’s going on with me right now, pleasant or not. I’m hoping to rally in a few days once I’ve gotten home and found some things to distract myself.
Any good thoughts would be appreciated for us as we travel home all day, Saturday the fourth.


About msmaryb

I'm a native Californian who lives in Oklahoma. I'm a full-time student, pursuing a Bachelors in Anthropology, following which I hope to attain a Masters in Archaeology. I have three kids, one husband, no pets, and a lot of friends - most of whom live inside my computer. I love to read, write, watch tv (shut up, we can't all be brain surgeons), shop, and travel. I'm trying to set foot in all 50 states before I die. I have 38, so far. I love the Beatles and Maroon 5, and if you think those two things are incongruous, well, they are. But that's me. When I love something, I love it 100%. I don't do anything halfway. I want to know everything there is to know, so I'm trying to cram as much into my brain as I can in the short amount of time I'm allotted in this dimension.

One response »

  1. I’m sorry that your trip has sped by and you aren’t ready to go home. I pray that your van is fixed very soon, too! And you are not friendless….maybe friends-close-by-less, but you always have friends in me and the other gals! Be safe coming home!

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