How I know I’m done


I’m watching Super Nanny right now and the family has two preschoolers and then six-week-old twins, and my palms are literally sweating and my stomach is knotted up watching those babies cry and watching the parents trying to get them to sleep and feed them and all the other stuff. I am just SO not a newborn person. I know that, in the grand scheme of things, it covers a really brief period of time. But it goes by really slowly for me and it’s just never enjoyable, as sad as that sounds. I honestly start feeling vaguely panicky when I start trying to envision myself going through that again. It kind of bums me out that that will be the bulk of my experience having tiny babies….I’m kind of envious of (though also completely baffled by) people who adore and revel in the newborn stage. But, it is what it is, and I can’t change the fact that I’m simply not suited to be a newborn mom. I’ve given it three tries now and have had the same results, more or less, every time. I think it’s safe to say that, if I ever get the ‘baby bug’ again, it will not be that I truly want another baby but that I’m wishing maybe mine weren’t quite so big. And since I’m aware enough to realize that I don’t foresee any regrets in the future.
Now if we could just get that last one sleeping through the night I’d be 100% satisfied with our current stage in life. (Hell, at this point I’d be thrilled to get her “only” waking up once!)


About msmaryb

I'm a native Californian who lives in Oklahoma. I'm a full-time student, pursuing a Bachelors in Anthropology, following which I hope to attain a Masters in Archaeology. I have three kids, one husband, no pets, and a lot of friends - most of whom live inside my computer. I love to read, write, watch tv (shut up, we can't all be brain surgeons), shop, and travel. I'm trying to set foot in all 50 states before I die. I have 38, so far. I love the Beatles and Maroon 5, and if you think those two things are incongruous, well, they are. But that's me. When I love something, I love it 100%. I don't do anything halfway. I want to know everything there is to know, so I'm trying to cram as much into my brain as I can in the short amount of time I'm allotted in this dimension.

2 responses »

  1. Super Nanny bites. Children are NOT inconveniences; they are people. That said, the newborn phase is extremely trying as they’re completely need-driven and id-driven. Lucky they’re so cute (and your Eliza registers 11 on a 1/10 scale on the Cute-Meter) otherwise we’d have sent them to the cornfield long since.
    But my point: do NOT listen to Super Nanny. That is television, and you are living in real life.

  2. a little late on the comments but this so reminds me of my last one Maximus, his name almost perfectly fitting, never sleeping in the crib…only falling asleep on Philip’s chest every night…and waking at least six times if not more every night. Ultimately, the very reason I finally tied my tubes.
    Although I love the infant stage none-the-less and have been known to cry at sappy commercials with newborns,I feel your pain.

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