Congratulate our new leader in the race for the Worst Decision Ever, Junior Division


I was putting some laundry in the wash and JZ was in the bathroom. Eliza was in there with him — she likes to stand on the step stool, run the water in the sink and “brush her teeth” (suck water out of the brush is more like it). I finished what I was doing and went to find Eliza and, to my horror, there was what appeared to be a mushroom cloud in the bathroom that smelled suspiciously like the Lysol NeutraAir spray I keep in there. And then I saw it: JZ brushing Eliza’s hair. Eliza’s hair, which was wet and plastered to her skull as she coughed and cried. I swooped in, hollering, and tossed her into the tub, clothes, shoes and all, and started spraying water on her face. Long story short, she appears to be fine, though still smelling vaguely of air freshener.
I, personally, am gobsmacked. My kids do NOT do this kind of stuff. They aren’t the kind of kids who, if you leave them alone for a few moments, will have an entire bag of flour strewn about the kitchen, or paintings on the walls done in a fetching shade of red lipstick. They just don’t do insane crap like that. It never, in a million years, would’ve occurred to me that JZ might decide to use a can of Lysol as hairspray. I’m not quite sure what to make of it. I can’t imagine what he was thinking. Isn’t five old enough to know better than that?
On the plus side, I don’t think he’ll try anything like that again. Never let anyone say that overreacting is entirely bad. I doubt he’ll forget that I was really really really displeased anytime soon.


About msmaryb

I'm a native Californian who lives in Oklahoma. I'm a full-time student, pursuing a Bachelors in Anthropology, following which I hope to attain a Masters in Archaeology. I have three kids, one husband, no pets, and a lot of friends - most of whom live inside my computer. I love to read, write, watch tv (shut up, we can't all be brain surgeons), shop, and travel. I'm trying to set foot in all 50 states before I die. I have 38, so far. I love the Beatles and Maroon 5, and if you think those two things are incongruous, well, they are. But that's me. When I love something, I love it 100%. I don't do anything halfway. I want to know everything there is to know, so I'm trying to cram as much into my brain as I can in the short amount of time I'm allotted in this dimension.

2 responses »

  1. I remember when Riley and Jeremiah were both younger, I came into Riley’s room one day and they had taken a tube of cherry Chapstick and smeared it all over everything in the room. It was so bizarre. Why? What would they have been thinking? And, of course,they had never done anything like that before. You just never know.

  2. I wouldn’t stamp the big L on Zachy’s forehead just yet. Being five, a can of hairspray and a can of Lysol probably seem rather interchangeable. On the plus side, I think he comprehends that it was not an appropriate use of air freshener!

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